My shipboard sausage creations

There are a few rules I like to follow when I am on a ship:

1. Stay on the Captain’s good side

2. Stay on the Cooks good side

3. Only pee off the lee side (for you land lubbers, dont piss into the wind)

Violating the first one can land you in an unemployment line. Number two can win you a broad range of consequences from eating a soup that was marinated with last weeks socks to a classic case of food poisoning. The prize for number three is fairly obvious.

So when I ended up in bad favor with the cook on my last ship I went a week and a half on canned tuna, bubble gum, sandwich meat, Ramin soup and anything out of a can. How did I did I end up in bad favor with the cook you ask? I nicely asked him to change a few things that I felt were surefire ways to get people sick. That didn’t go so well and our “conversation” led me to believe that I could expect special attention to my meals.

My Workshop for the night…Barf from “You Can’t Do That On Television” would have been proud.

A man can only eat so much stuff from a can, so one late night I decided to sneak into the pantry and make something up with what we had onboard and eat off that for a few days and this is what I came up with:

I know we can use these!!

Olives, good on anything…except cheesecake


Really??? So your not even gonna wrap the bacon up??? And sit the lettuce on top of the sausage????Really, this is what I am talking about….OK moving on.


After you clean the dirty pan brown the sausage

Set the sausage aside and add some butter and olive oil to the pan. Add the tomatoes and the remaining ingredients.

Return the sausage to the pan and season to taste. Be easy on the salt because the sausage and olives are already salting things up.

Pack some cooked rice into a measuring cup. Place it on the center of a plate and tap it until it comes off onto the plate. Spread the goodness around the plate and chow down. HAPPY SAILING.

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Categories: Recipes


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  1. July 2, 2011 at 5:46 am #

    The one thing I learned whilst on a ship was to keep my bum to the wall.
    Lee side or not!

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